99 Weeks of Unemployment in the Mail

Nov 20 2011

“…You take one down and cash it around, 99 weeks of unemployment in the mail.”

NewsBusters has a story on yet another liberal trotting out the tired meme that UI is “stimulative.”

Uh… No.  It’s a nice thing to do for people who are suffering under the boy tyrant.  But that’s a moral question.  As an economic question, it’s not “stimulative.”  It’s the oxygen tank people who have lung disease walk around with.  If they could sit still (perhaps at a desk at a job) they may not need it, but this is walking around oxygen.  One might even go another way and describe it a bender. Hangover tomorrow.

I actually have no problem in ObAmerica with 99 weeks of unemployment, but it’s not stimulative.  I regard it as treading water until Obama’s removed from office.  Under any other President 99 weeks would be very, very, very long.  But this guy?  No way anyone’s hiring until he’s gone, so let ‘em have it.  But, again, it’s a flat-out lie that it’s “stimulative.”  It’s treading water.  It’s circular breathing. It’s keeping status quo, then paying for it later. Let’s test out the theory to prove I’m right.

Ready?

Surely between week 1 and week 99 we’ll see a change in America’s economy, with all this “stimulation” right? Something lasting, meaningful, right?

Let’s see:

1. Nope.
2. Not yet.
3. Stlll not feelin’ it.
4. Bummer.
5. Not even a tingle yet, dammit.
6. Waiting
7. Waiting
8. Waiting
9. Still waiting. Can I have that bagel?
10. Anyone seen my car keys?
11. Anyone seen the price of gas?
12. Crap. Can’t afford to drive anyway.
13. Change yet?
14. Nope.
15. I still need a job.
16. Is it Recover Summer yet?
17. Didn’t the recession officially end in June 2009?
18. What the?
19. I’m not being lazy, dammit.
20. I haven’t lost my imagination.
21. I need printer toner to print out another 100 resumes.
22. Can’t afford it.
23. Still waiting.
24. No change yet.
25. Is this thing on?
26. He’s “focused” on job creation.
27. Says he “wake up every day thinking about it.”
28. Goes to bed “every night, thinking about it.”
29. Me too.
30. Is this thing on?
31. How much is a first class stamp these days?
32. Maybe I should snail mail the next 100 resumes.
33. Crap.
34. Can’t afford it.
35. Has anyone seen my car keys?
36. Has anyone seen my car?
37. Whah?
38. They repo’d it?
39. Was it that bald guy in the overalls? He’s tough, man.
40. I like that show.
41. Got a lot of time to watch it now.
42. Is that the phone?
43. Maybe it’s a job offer!
44. Wrong number.
45. Are we stimulated yet?
46. Waiting.
47. Waiting.
48. Waiting.
49. Am I too young to have dinner at 4?
50. That’s just too sad.
51. Never mind.
52. ONE YEAR OF WAITING – Hey – What happened to Bob Barker?
53. He hosted Price is Right last time I looked.
54. Damn.
55. Is that the phone?
56. Where’ the mute button?
57. Bill collector.
58. Crap.
59. Are we stimulated yet?
60. Waiting.
61. Still waiting.
61. I can’t even pronounce “Barrista.”
62. Beside, I refuse to call a medium “Grande.”
63. Forget it.
64. Maybe Dunkin’ is hiring?
65. Do people still thumb?
66. Maybe I should hitch a ride to Yellowstone or something.
67. Nah.
68. Long winters.
69. Are we stimulated yet?
70. Waiting.
71. Waiting.
72. Still waiting.
73. I’ve decided I don’t like Price is Right without Bob Barker.
74. But old Pyramid reruns are cool.
75. Hey!
76. Game six of the Red Sox 1986 series is on!
77. Billy Frickin’ Buckner.
78. There’s always next year guys.
79. I’m starting to know how they feel.
80. Hello?
81. Hello? I’m here! Don’t hang up.
82. No, I don’t need diabetic supplies.
83. How did I get on your list?
84. Take me off your g*ddamned list.
85. I’m going for a walk.
86. No messages waiting when I got back.
87. Something’s gonna change, right?
88. They said so, right?
89. When?
90. Taco Bell is not food.
91. But I eat it anyway.
92. I think I’m going to take up mall-walking.
93. I’ll be the youngest one there by 50 years.
94. Maybe they could tell me what they did during the first Great Depression.
95. I could be a better janitor than the mall guy.
96. Really.
97. Has anything changed yet?
98. Hello?
99. Hello????

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