Choo-Choo Trains, Windmills, & CCCP

Sep 04 2011

Progressives regularly harp on Conservatives’ imaginary nostalgia & super-secret plots to return us all to the stone age or a 1950′s barefoot & pregnant America.

This is curious given the fact that it is they who have such bold ‘new’ ideas as choo-choos to nowhere (railroads between union heavy Democrat districts no-one will use) snaking alongside windmills a.k.a. ‘Bird Cuisinarts’ (er – wind turbines, which even lefty greenies say kill endangered species like California’s condors at unacceptable levels) and putting lipstick on a pig – er – ‘investing’ in ‘retrofitting our schools’ via a fresh coat of lead-free paint & installing weatherstripping on school windows when inside, they will still use textbooks from a world in which The Soviet Union still existed.

If it were up to us (conservatives) we’d bust all the teachers’ unions, eliminate all the bullsh*t educational degress you need to teach in public schools, replace them with 6 month certificates in basic educational techniques, and repopulate the staffs of schools all across America with people paid on a merit-based system, enthusiastic about the job of teaching kids who, in this craaazy scenario, would have the latest scholastic texts in digital form via taxpayer funded iPads (or Kindles!) for every student which will not only save money on dusty, heavy, outdated textbooks, but, because they can be freely/cheaply updated, improve educational outcomes by providing accurate information to all those sponge-like minds.

We’d drill, mine, extract, and otherwise exploit every bit of our natural resources – including so-called ‘green’ ones where the free market supports it – meaning, somebody actually wants it.

We’d eliminate all subsidies for public transportation, like Amtrak and those stupid airports that fly one person per day and sell them to the highest bidder where we could, or shut ‘em down and sell ‘em for parts where we couldn’t.  In their place will surely be market demanded shuttle vans, rickshaws, or Segues, but whatever it is, it will be what people want and will use.

But that’s just my anti-science, racist, knuckle-dragging brain-stem electrical activity which could barely be called thinking.

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